Physical Address

304 North Cardinal St.
Dorchester Center, MA 02124

‘Stop being very nice’ says Psychologist: What do successful people do


Social psychologists such as social concerns are so universal, so social psychologists have protected it. We can find almost anywhere, inside salary talks or Small spoken conversations It has a very awkward break.

Almost everyone will find themselves at once a relationship that feels uncomfortable. And these situations in the workplace come daily. We give and take feedback, manage team dynamics and manages status differences.

Most of us, we take a simple approach to turn off: smiling as much as we can, smiling and smiling and bending back to convince people: There is nothing to worry about here. This interaction will be positive. I am beautiful.

Perhaps also nice?

The problem is to be very nice

There is a sad irony here: We are trying to use elegance to cover our anxiety, more people can see more on us.

People are good Take emotionsLeaked through our non-inverbal behaviors such as sound tone. We do a good job to disguise a concern with the layer on definitions, but whenever these compliment surrender through artificial smiles, no one buys it.

Don’t miss: Can be successfully changed their careers and be happier at work

Often, we regulate our concerns by giving an opinion that is so common. Classic, “Excellent work!” In many cases, it has not been studied.

Excessive positive feedback signals you do not pay – you are probably not too busy to adjust yourself. Over time, the last person who accepts becomes uncomfortable to you. They need them SPECIAL INFORMATION to help improve their work.

Instead of doing so what to do

Many people work in environments that are extremely beautiful. Three things you can do to convert this culture to each other instead of honest, useful reviews.

1. Ask the question to ‘Bible Culture’

Ask yourself: Anyone around me enjoys this overwhelming culture or do everyone?

Social norms are the great driver of behaviors, and faster newcomers have accepted these norms, and how often they will be accepted as “adaptation”. After the presentation of a new person, they will do it if they observe anyone who was placed on compliments.

If no one asks this behavior openly, social psychologists are called “pluralist ignorist”: Everyone believes that everyone is busy with very good reviews because they want. But secretly, no one loves him.

Start a conversation around change. Learn the feeling that people really feel about beautiful culture. One way to do this is to offer alternatives.

Before the next presentation, you can ask people, for example, people who can improve three special things and at the end of the presentation, what would you feel? ”

2. Be accurate and special

It is natural for us to exaggerate behaviors to create an impression and make assumptions. For example, we can decide if someone is chronic late is lazy. But even if the impressions are often positive, it is very common to be useful.

Instead, make an effort for special, behavior-based feedback. You can show the issue more accurately – for example, a presentation from many jargons “It was boring,” the feedback will be more useful.

This going for the same definition. If you tell someone good work or why their job is great, you will go out like the more original and your opinions will be more meaningful.

If the adjustment is critical, to eliminate extensive summaries, additional benefits to reduce the threat to the reception end, especially this opinion.

3. Start small and neutral if you are new in this work

It can feel like jumping from a gap moving from an extremely beautiful opinion culture.

Start small. Choose the problems that are secular, but people still take care of people like participating in the stock in the kitchen. Something that nobody boils blood. Is to make a goal set an opinion muscle. In this way, the norms around honesty began to change after the harder things.

Be patient while working on changing the culture around you. It takes a long time to change the norms and a long time to change.

Tessa Western It is a social psychologist and a professor at New York University. He used science for years to help people resolve inter-parliamentary conflicts. He is the author of “Leaps at work: Toxic colleagues and what do they need to do about“And”Job Therapy: Finding Working Work for You“He is an instructor in the online course of CNBC How to change your careers and be happier at work.

Want a higher paid, more flexible or new career? Take CNBC’s new online course How to change your careers and be happier at work. Expert teacher successfully set up a network, update your resume and switch with confidence in your dream career. Start today and use the coupon code for an introduction to $ 67 (+ Taxes and fees) on May 13, 2025.



Source link

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *