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When it comes to maintaining your child’s mental health, emotional firmness is the basis. I just don’t Continuous children Leap back from frustration but less likely to be less oppressed, worried, or self-critical.
Like psychologist With approximately 20 years of experience, I found out how children with emotional grit There is something common in common: parents who know how to behave with their emotions.
When we show that our children have no shame or edge limits, we teach the feelings that the feelings are not a mixed, unbearable radiation. They are bright Biological ambassadors Let us know, and guide us through life – just like thirst and hunger. Knowing this, children can learn to control the conflict, disappointment and greater confidence and wisdom.
Parents who make emotional savvy, durable children Do four things and how much use these skills are easy to transfer them to your children.
1. They see and respect their feelings
Continuous parents Recognize that the emotions are not intended to be buried, dismissing or repressing. They know that ignoring feelings make them just roar them.
What makes anxiety easier, calls our emotions one by one. As we are young to our children, we can use our words. To yourself, silently or loud, “I feel right now, feel, fill in the space.
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To call our emotions Appreciates our honor and passage. Only then can we feel better to feel better or to make a lawyer. For example, if we are full of anger, we must set a border. Or you are concerned, can help talk to a friend or walk.
When the parents can cope with their feelings, children learn that the feelings are a part of everyday life, which is valuable for our health such as dreams and exercises.
2. They can adjust their emotions
Did you see a terrible movie you were watching you scared you? Because Emotions are contagious. The fear of a fictitious character can pass through the screen to influence an adult, The distress of parents Of course, you can rub their children. Thus, they must adjust their emotions to reduce effects.
The emotions start with tuning your body. Use this simple breathing exercise: Breathe slowly to the number of five and slowly reduce the number of five. Repeat for two minutes. Is known as “relative-breathing“This relief technique Helps soothe from the bottom of the body nervous systemthat takes the edge of acute emotions.
Remember that You have to live your emotions to process them, digest and adjust themBut sometimes it is best to give yourself a chance to calm down instead of expressing strong feelings when they are on top. In this way, your emotions do not get the best, that is, it is unlikely to express your children.
3. They do not tag the emotions as ‘good’ or ‘bad’
Emotions are often classified as they feel – happiness For example, anger has a positive reputation, even if it gets a bad rap.
But the feelings are not good or bad, it’s just information. And the information they give are useful and effective. Grief says that something will mourn. The fear is aware of danger. The excitement wants to celebrate us. Healthy sin continues to treat people badly.
Follow your emotions with the mind. Here are two statements to guide you:
- “There is no decision on what I feel right now.”
- “Oh, it’s a feeling, still. I know it will pass.“
If parents do not judge themselves, children are less likely to judge their feelings.
4. Reflects self
What I know like a psychologist is the formation of our emotional life by the present, but the past.
It is very important to how our parents behave with our emotions. If our difficulties have been repeatedly dismissed or ashamed, prevent certain emotions (often anger, sadness or fear) or Criticize ourselves for the presence of them.
If you fight with any feelings, it can help you to reflect yourself. Ask yourself:
- “How did my parents respond when I felt in this way?”
- “What do I want to do in a different way with my children?”
Asking these questions help you to break the old, harmful family that ensure that you do not repeat the same mistakes. It can help you to make sure to be conscious of what you want to do differently.
Parents who can reflect their emotions are teaching their children to do the same. It’s like this modeling the necessary behaviors. Children learn what we are what we are dojust what happened tell.
Dr. July Fraga It is a licensed psychologist with about two decades working with new parents. He is the co-author of the book ahead “Parents also have feelings.” He also teaches seminars for seminars for the residents of California, San Francisco (UCSF) hospital as well as inhabitants of Psychiatry. Follow him on Instagram @parentshavefeelingstoo.
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